Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
