Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
