I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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