Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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