Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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