Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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