And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
