I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
