talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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