Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
