Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
