I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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