A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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