Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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