i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
