3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
