Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
