At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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