I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
