so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just googled if crying burns calories
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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