dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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