So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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