Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
