THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
