Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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