people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
