I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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