its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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