i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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