Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
