If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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