super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my being single is dangerous.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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