dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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