1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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