you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
