when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
