So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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