Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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