Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
