I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
