Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize