Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
