Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
