well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
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he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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