Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
