My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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