belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
