I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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