I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
