Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
