I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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