Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
