when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
