You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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