i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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