Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
