can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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