Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
