the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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