they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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