There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
