My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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