She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
