super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
