I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
