So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
