Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
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