that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
