Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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