i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
