so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
